God! Who? What? When? Where? Why? If? Real? Having been grown up as full blown catholic I can help but to at least have a spiritual side to my being. As I grew from a boy into a man and witnessing the reality of the horror that is our world I can’t help but have feelings of what kind of a monster of a god would allow all this suffering, in particular a baby with cancer and in all that pain?! I, after many years of battle between my angels and demons that dwell deep inside my heart, I ultimately keep coming up with only one possible conclusion that makes since in every way imaginable, to me. My thought process is a long drawn out bottomless pit of possibilities. I replay these over and over in life and every once in a while a new one pops up and throws them all out of wack leaving me with many restless nights. The thought of not understanding and not knowing, maybe never knowing just drives me ape shit bonkers. I love this type of deep thought and I figure why sleep when there are so many mysteries to be solved or at least worth pondering a while. After all, who needs sleep? We will sleep plenty while we dead but perhaps we won’t be able to use thought processes then anyway if there is indeed nothing but a black eternal nothingness void of never existing again and almost like we never existed at all. What is the meaning of life? Is there a rhyme or reason for why we are who we are and a reason or purpose for our existence in a never ending and infinite universe amongst universes? Is is all just purposeless? Are we just a shit smear on the existence of an internal death spiral?
Either we are a product of a higher being, and in many religions are all similar and refer to as god or gods. Was god really what the Bible says? An eternal being who always was and always will be with complete dominance over the existence of everything, even when there was nothing. So my question is if there was such a thing as nothing then what is nothing? What does nothing look like or consist of? What is it’s definition? I can not understand because if god always was and always will be then when there was nothing is that considered nothing? Isn’t god something? If there is god and he dwelled inside of nothing then…..grrr….wth my friends? My puny brain can not conceive or fathom the concept of nothing! Much like infinity or infinite, what exactly does that mean? I could never picture what this truly and honestly meant. It means forever obviously, ass hole, but in our world all things supposedly has a beginning therefore, all things have and end. The conception of infinity is almost fictitious in scientific terms. Is this what they meant by god and that god isn’t an actual intelligent being? Or is an infinite existence an actual intelligence in on its own? I tend to believe that the Bible was written in a time and place when people were mentally and physically completely different than we are today. The way they thought, what was believed, possible a lot more gullible and easily fooled, misunderstood a lot of things that life threw at them from the simplicity of no education and the hardship of actual surviving life. We see a flying craft overhead we say either an airplane or a UFO, we don’t say it’s god but back then they couldn’t conceive what they were seeing and explained all things they couldn’t explain in different ways than we do. It is quite possible that one day in ancient times our dim witted distant relatives witnessed a bright shinny craft of otherworldly origin and perhaps spewing fire or glowing, spinning or producing marshmallows for everyone on the ground to eat and they all kneeled and bowed. Something such as an event like this of technological advancements of which they could never have dreamed of in their simple life automatically strikes fear in their souls and their minds reword to a higher power. Could be that Moses went on the mountain and aliens presented him with the Ten Commandments. The aliens seen humanity’s barbaric and evil ways and thought that this is a possible solution to turn humanity into good morals abiding people. The burning bush was a craft or otherworldly being? Was Jesus himself an actual alien being who could perform miracle like feats that struck fear into the hearts of misunderstanding. The Bible is a collection of stories created for the purpose of keeping humanity law abiding through fear? By saying if you do this or you do that then you burn in hell forever after death. That is a pretty scary idea and made me obey my parents and do good when I was a kid but like Santa clause, religion also became more and more of an unlikely thing. The whole religious thing in every form or fashion is in my eyes unproven and I got to see it to believe it where as science is real and the beliefs of what I can see and experience is king. All these people stay on their knees their whole life and devote their life and the little time we do have in life participating in activities and waistline their time on a concept that is really far fetched. That is like giving a dead man CPR everyday in hopes he will come back to life when it is completely never going to happen. Like beating a dead horse for it to bring you where you need to go. If a god wants us to worship and believe in him but wants to play games by not actually allowing us to have tangible proof of the existence of a higher power then it must be urban legend and made up. Why would such a loving and glorious god punish all of his people after the original two made a mistake? I didn’t make that mistake, hell I don’t even like apples. I am a law abiding citizen and love and cherish my fellow man. I don’t rob, kill, or do any of the commandments say not too and it’s because have morals and beliefs that being a good person is easier than being a bad one and that it is wrong to not bless the world with happiness instead of pain. Their is already enough pain and sin in the world so why should I add to it, yet I rather attempt to prevent, heal, fix and avoid negativity. I do this without even believing in god. I believe in tangible science. One day god descended down from the heavens, created Earth and man in seven days and seven nights. On the seventh day he sat back to rest and admire what he created. One day aliens descended down from the heavens in their space craft and manipulated humanity’s DNA to create a better, faster, smarter, and more capable of survival example. They also created us in their likeness meaning our new DNA strain is a mix between us and them and perhaps even bread with us as well all strengthening us as a species and giving us the advantages all other apes or species on Earth didn’t. Sound all too familiar to me, similar facts and situations that could have easily been misconstrued. Honestly, to me it was a bright shinny day somewhere on earth during the times of the conception or notion of god was conceived where many cultures and people of different backgrounds all traveled long, hard, and far to deal and trade their goods and services. Somewhere like a Silk Road, a gathering place, market place to make your fortune fast and go home for the rest the year to live off your spoils. Then a huge craft cone splitting the atmosphere creating friction in the air sparking lightning and thunderous growls terrifying 1000’s of witnessing onlookers who never seen such a spectacle. Then these beings with outstanding and incomprehensible technology of weapons and tools were emerged from the craft and demonstrated powers of that only a god could possess. Impossible powers of great stature that could do wonderful things but also do evil on a scale none wanted to try to provoke so they all bowed and worshiped that which they couldn’t understand and interpreted wrongfully. These beings took advantage of this but not only after they made us better and helped further or species along for the better through speeding up our evolution and growth. These people of all backgrounds and races then went back home and told their unbelievable stories of god and each did so in different ways. Kinda like when you tell someone something and by the time it gets to 10 people down line and told at different times each time the story gets a little better and more interesting with added small details, well, same here. So each person from each region of the land developed spiritual and religious beliefs all in different but similar ways and this is the reason each religion is similar but also different and no one of them will say theirs is wrong or right when none of them is originated from actual facts but that of deceptions from another planet. In many ways all this did was make things worst as each argued that the other was wrong sparking a holy war, now suicide bombers and terror in the name of jihad, the Catholic religion hiding facts of reality from the world to cover the fact that the information may end the religion and it is a major business rather than a religion. All of them are money collecting business and not about the religion, the pope knows the truth but would financially ruin the whole infrastructure of the belief. Honestly we as a species need to be relieved of these lies and free up all that wealth accumulated over the centuries that it sits on it would be great for the economy. What god would say hive me 10% of your earnings every week or month or you’ll go to hell? Hell i’m already poor as shit I can’t afford to buy little biscuits for the believers to eat and wine for priests to drink the whole intoxicated molest alter boys. Sorry it is what it is and I am not about to hold back my freedom of speech just so you, little miss Mary virgin Lilly pants, would not be offended. If you are then I suggest you continue to exiting this blog site and not come back because it’ll get worst before it gets better. I am sick and tired of all the worlds dumb bull shit that is constricting the logically well thought out and realistic human being. I refuse to follow anything or anyone that makes no since it is hypothetical like the Catholic Church saying it’s a sin not to pay them so they have the cash to buy booze and screw and victimize innocent young children who only wanted to assist in the mass to be helpful. No real loving and merciful god would deny his people of the security of the knowledge in his really existing and not have to worry throughout life if he does or not. That’s kinda cruel. No merciful or loving god would create or allow so much confusion over the truth or allow so much pain and turmoil that plaques his people that he supposedly loves so intensely that he’d give his only begotten son and let him suffer and die upon a cross at the hands the Romans and say he did this for our sins like a guilt trip. He castes Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden for eating a stupid apple because the epitome of evil symbolized in the form of a snake was on the tree. They were forced out of paradise and into the brutal world to toil and till the land and work hard everyday, struggle, and suffer just to survive everyday and living a life of hardship. Then on top of that everyone that comes into the picture after the fact and never had anything to do with their actions also gets punished for their actions no mercy. Sometimes fundamentally wrong with the unfairness in this stupid beaten tired old bullshit story. Jesus Christ was a thief and he claimed he could raise the dead and do all this stuff impossible to anyone so then making him a lier and a con artist as well so the Roman people put him up on a cross as an example to others and along side two other criminals. He begged and pleaded for his “father” to end his suffering quickly but denied him making him look even more so like a lier. What god allows this? His mother pregnant but also a virgin! Yeah right she was screwing every swinging cock that she saw in her proximity. His mother and himself were both alike and living in a fantasy world and thought of theirselves as more important than all others and there’s a name for this, narcism and it’s a mental illness and defect of their anatomy and surly not any chosen ones or special ones. I don’t see how society, especially even into this day in age, could believe in all this bull crap in a world of liars, sinners, thieves, and evil that infests our surroundings since the beginning of time. The story of Moses I really find interesting, was he an extraterrestrial like perhaps Jesus was found things such as parting a whole sea to cross on dry land, leading his people through the desert of desolate certain death for 40 days and 40 impossible nights with the help of an ark that also killed whoever handled it. He built an ark and gathers a male and female of every creature on earth plant and living then put them on it to survive the great flood created, again by the loving and merciful god, to kill Earths population in a mass near extinction event because humanity wasn’t doing what he ordered them to do. That, to me is a mean, evil, revengeful, and angry god who can’t control his temper or creation. Apparently didn’t create man fully in his likeness because wouldn’t that mean psychologically as well. Couldn’t he have just created us how he’d want us to be because after all he is god and is capable of the impossible and capable of anything!? He’s sorta bad at what he does if you ask me. God is only an idea that a group of men created to scare all others into stopping victimizing them. It’s psychological warfare and reverse psychology at its finest but not everyone falls for it. That, however, does not mean you have the right or permission to be a bad person.